Monday, 27 June 2016

Shadow Cabinet Boxing

There are so many resignation letters flying about that everyone is getting confused.

People are resigning from posts they don't even hold. From posts that don't even exist. I resigned myself this morning, twice, from my entirely fictitious post of Head Badger Worrier of the Duchy of Woirthsley.

The odd thing is I received a polite response from Jeremy, each time, and a few minutes later he offered me other posts in his cabinet. He had thoughtfully included a pre-written letter for me to immediately resign from those posts if I accepted them.

Tory ministers, feeling left out, have started resigning as well. But as the Tory leadership has gone into hiding, they don't actually know where to send the letters to, so simply get each other to accept their resignations and give each other new positions.

It's all a bit strange.

Still, inspite of all the confusion, and a rapidly dwindling pool of MPs who haven't already resigned, Corbyn has managed to put together a new shadow cabinet:

  • Shadow foreign secretary - Emily Thornberry
  • Shadow health secretary – Diane Abbott
  • Shadow education secretary – Pat Glass
  • Shadow transport secretary – Andy McDonald
  • Shadow defence secretary – Clive Lewis
  • Shadow chief secretary to the Treasury – Rebecca Long-Bailey
  • Shadow international development secretary – Kate Osamor
  • Shadow environment food and rural affairs secretary – Rachel Maskell
  • Shadow voter engagement and youth affairs – Cat Smith
  • Shadow Northern Ireland secretary – Dave Anderson

Probably a few of them are a bit dazed and still finding their way about Westminster, and Cat Smith WAS BORN IN THE 80s, but they'd better get up to speed quick - they'll be in government soon enough!

(Eyes Lisa Nandy and Angela Eagle suspiciously) Anyone got anything they'd like to say?

Now he's just got to get through the motion of No Confidence and we can have at the Tories, which is what the Labour Party are meant to be doing.

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