Some cheap soundbites i thought up while reading about the underwhelming Conservative manifesto

Tory manifesto: big on austerity, low on promise, non-existent on delivery.

The Tories: the party so big on ambition they couldn't be arsed writing a manifesto.

MLK: "I have a dream!"
BJ: "I'll just have a nap."

Labour: Broadband!
Tories: Narrow minds!

Labour have hope, dreams and ambition. The Tories will save you.

Labour - shooting for the moon and falling among the stars.
Tories - shooting at the ground and hitting themselves in the foot.

Labour: Dare to dream: Tories: Try to stay awake.

If that all seems a bit airy-fairy, perhaps the IFS are more serious and convincing:

The Conservative government had already planned to increase day-to-day spending on public services by £11.7 billion next year with some further increases for schools and the NHS in subsequent years. Their manifesto adds just £2.9 billion to current plans in 2023–24. This is a very modest increase indeed – it would boost spending in that year by less than one-third of one per cent of what was already planned.

The manifesto pledges appear to leave little scope for spending increases beyond next year outside of those planned for health and schools. Even in 2023–24 day-to-day spending on public services outside of health would still be almost 15 per cent lower in real terms that it was at the start of the 2010s.

That's some serious bad shit right there.  Vote Tory for FIFTEEN years of austerity.