Ten reasons the Tories do NOT want an election

There has been a lot of talk about Boris Johnson wanting an election, and he has blustered with great gusto about 'chicken' Jeremy Corbyn refusing one, but I think there are many reasons why he is secretly glad he has been refused the opportunity:

1. The Tories are an utter rabble,tearing themselves to pieces. They've rejected Cameronite phoney One Nation consensus centrism for extremism. They've managed to make everyone apart from the Telegraph and the Mail hate them. 


2. They've been in power for almost a decade now, people are tired of them. New Labour made it to 13 years, but only because they started from a much better position.


3. The right wing vote is going to be split. Either it is going to be split between Conservatives and Brexit (if Brexit isn't delivered) or Conservative and Lib Dem (if it is).


4. A lot of Conservative voters might not be able to vote for another party but will simply stay home, as happened in 1997. 


5. Austerity still matters and many people are still struggling. After 9 years in power, what have the Tories got to show for it? At least New Labour could point to some real achievements in the early years. 


6. An election this year will be the third in five years. That might be normal in Italy, but we didn't win the war to behave like Italians. People will be royally pissed off with being asked to vote again. So the Conservative reputation for managerial competence is shredded. 


7. An early election favours Corbyn - if the Tories could hang on until 2022 then he'd probably look too old. But having another pop now, on this side of seventy, he still has time on his side. 


8. Corbyn is a very good campaigner. Say what you like about his policies and his leadership, but put him on the campaign trail and he's happy as can be, and people respond to him. Whereas the Conservatives have put an absolute klutz at the helm who can't get through a speech without prompting commentators to speculate that he's on drugs.  Even the stuff Johnson was meant to be good at - PMQs and insults - he's been bad at. 


9. There is nothing left to use against Corbyn. Remember how some people were salivating about how the media would reveal all his dark secrets and murky stories from his past? That barrel was scraped dry in 2017 and it turned out to be a rather small and pathetic barrel; now the Murdochite papers are reduced to putting his head on a chicken.


10. Labour will run on a crowd pleasing manifesto, while the Conservatives will run on a stupid manifesto, again. People think they will have learned from 2017's mistakes, but they will simply make new ones. They just don't get it.

That's my branes, anyway.