Friday, 25 June 2010

Out, but not down

Marc Paston is a hero for the ages.

Italy will henceforth be known as "Finished Behind New Zealand."

New Zealand will also be re-branded, and henceforth known as "Finished Ahead Of Italy."

In centuries to come, there will be intense cartographical confusion about where 'New Zealand' and 'Italy' actually were, as the new names refer to places that no longer exist ... leading to scholarly dispute, the citing of ancient maps and the occasional fist fight.

With the All Whites out of the cup, I'm backing Slovakia all the way. I like their entirely random style: initially, indifferent against us; then, useless against Paraguay; finally, lethal against Italy. Such inconsistency appeals to me as a Scot - though Scotland only range from indifferent and useless.

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