Monday, 2 November 2009

Obviously, they were very convincing ...

Actors who appeared in the film The Firm have been identified as football hooligans, in the BBC's Crimewatch and in The Sun:
Movie actors' mugshots shown in BBC online appeal for football hooligansCast members of The Firm appear alongside wanted hooligans in image on BBC crimewatch website

The BBC has admitted it posted pictures of actors from the film The Firm on the Crimewatch website and wrongly claimed they were football hooligans earlier this week.

Yesterday the Sun also printed the pictures of The Firm actors on under the headline "Hooligan Hunt" on page 25 after the Metropolitan police supplied them to the paper. The Sun is expected to run another story tomorrow admitting its mistake and blaming the Met for the error.

The corporation today also blamed the Met for the mistake, saying police had provided its Crimewatch show with the images. (1)
Of course, there's no reason why you can't be an actor and a thug - they aren't exclusive categories.

Maybe we should round them up and interrogate them, perhaps even transport them to some undisclosed location and have them tortured by proxy - after all, if they don't admit to being hooligans, it just shows that standard interrogation techniques aren't effective, and need to be 'enhanced.' Surely no-one is niave enough to fall for that "We were just acting in a film" line?

And while we're about it, we should intern all other actors as well, just to be on the safe side. It seems harsh, but we're talking about protecting our way of life here, and anyway, these oddball artistic types have never really belonged, or made any effort to integrate. We should close down the theatres and cinemas - they are clearly breeding grounds for hooliganism, extremism and racism, with white men blacking up to (n.b. not to be confused with Tory M.P.s, who do it as a bit off a laugh) and dressing up as Nazis (n.b. not to be confused with Prince Harry, who does it as a bit of a laugh).

And anyone who has ever been to see a pantomine, been to the cinema or even rented a DVD should be put on a special list that a Home Office mandarin can leave lying on the tube ...
1 - "Movie actors' mugshots shown in BBC online appeal for football hooligans," by James RObinson. Published in The Guardian, 30th of October, 2009. (

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